somewhere in between

somewhere in between. i stood in awe of unfamiliar mountains. amidst transient strangers. and fellow sojourners. as we floated on narrow waters. identifying with driftwood. sharing stories. and laughter. and music. paths merging for a moment.

somewhere in between. i sat at a bus stop. sipping tea with a kindred spirit. who hugged me and wished me well as our journeys parted ways.

somewhere in between. i watched cherry blossoms bloom. under surprising blue skies. in fluid city streets. accompanied by dear friends. old and new.

somewhere in between. i floated over land. on mundane plane rides. arriving at the place i can always return to. to know i am loved. welcomed by the vivid colours of carolina springtime.

and in this place. we shared meals around familiar kitchen tables and breezy porches. we strolled through the forests that beckoned our spirits. we tapped our feet to the music so deeply rooted. in this very place.

and in this place. we watched as worlds combined. as friends gathered from different moments in our lives. to listen. to dance. to play. in the perfect festival sunshine. and we celebrated the fleeting time. soaking in all of its beauty.

and moments suddenly vanished. and cars and planes transported us once again. to somewhere in between. where there is still much to discover along the way.

a moment in a place.

this is the place.

where mountains collide with sea.

where music dances through the springtime air.

and people dance in response. freely. incessently. harmoniously.

this is the moment.

when friends from ages past. and new acquaintences

gather on common ground.

and feet tap in rhythm with stringed instruments.

this is the place.

where the rain usually falls.

but somehow ceases.

to make allowance for blue skies that match our spirits.

this is the moment.

that teaches us impermance.

as beautiful chords must conclude.

and paths must inevitably diverge.

this is the place.

that will always be a part of us.

as the music that fills our souls.

inspires the next steps our feet take.

this is the moment.

to be embraced. and let go of.

to be loved. and abandoned.

as life flows on. the evolving symphony that it is.

purple beach glass

we searched for cracks in the frozen sea

to release these broken pieces of purple glass.

in hopes they might transform

into something beautiful.

by something bigger than ourselves.

in a timing we could not predict.

a ritual of letting go.

of leaving behind.

and on the days before i left, i will always remember

the blueness of the skies.

the brightness of spring's growing light

reflected in winter's lingering snow.

and i will remember climbing mountains

and crossing rivers.

in community. in solitude.

in noise. in silence.

and i will remember music in living rooms.

that sometimes invited listening.

and sometimes encouraged playing.

but always warmed my heart.

and i will remember laughter

around kitchen tables.

and tears on carpeted floors

when we realized the changing times.

and i will remember the people i came to know.

the people i came to love.

from the youngest who spoke my name

to the oldest who wished she could see my face.

and i will know,

beyond a doubt,

that i was loved.

that i am loved still.

and i will remember the words of a wise woman

who said i must lose sight of the shore to discover another.

as she gave me her blessing.

to explore. to seek. to find.

so the blue skies. the white snow.

the music. the people.

the beauty in all its kinds.

will always be a part of me.

no matter where the wind blows,

i will always know

i have places to go back to.

and purple beach glass to find.

blue sky.

there were seemingly eternal blustery days.
of harsh winds. and gray skies.
when the ambiguous snow confused our eyes.
was it falling from the sky?
or flying from the ground?
regardless, we retreated to the places where we might find shelter.

but with the impermanence that forever characterizes the weather.
change is in the air.
in the blue skies that have returned.
in the sunlight.
growing steadily each day.
masked for so long by clouds.
now magnified in its new liberty.

and though the cold remains.
and will persist.
there is something tolerable.
and pleasant.
about these blue sky days.
something to be embraced.

time to be embraced.
time that is forever changing like the weather.
sending us to new places.
to new people.
to new moments.

soon, the season will have drastically shifted.
melting.
springtime.
awakening.
and this journey will also evolve with the coming of spring.

a land of winter beauty i must breathe in.
a land of winter beauty i must leave.

the earth resting quietly.
beneath blankets of white.
is whispering.
is beckoning.
come immerse yourself in me.
come join this rebirth.

sun salutations

our time in the presence of the sun grows every day.

still her coming and going is visible during waking hours. before she shows her face, she decorates the horizon with a spectrum of colours. and inspires the sky to shine a radiant blue. the transistions are gradual. silently commanding patience. the light not to be rushed. but allowed to journey at the pace that suits her.

and we rejoice at the light that exists. and remember days that were mostly nights. how easy it is to overlook the beauty of transformation from dark to light. as we anxiously anticipate the sun's arrival. as we focus on what will emerge from the horizon, rather than embracing the present moment.

but then there are glimpses of mindfulness. when we appreciate the hues dancing around us. when we consider their impermanence. and trust the timing of the sun.

this is where i am.

a continual struggle to celebrate the sunrise. waiting for the sun.

and there are moments of presence. when i am in tune with the beauty in my midst. and there are moments of distraction. when my gaze. my heart. feels present somewhere else.

for there are exciting new adventures on the horizon. that just may awaken this spirit. that just may reconnect this soul. yet there are people. and places. and moments. to appreciate right now. where i am.

hoping for the compassion, the awareness, to marvel at the sunrise.

dandelions.

there's a fraction
of a poem
in a book*
on shelf
in a hostel
in a city
which reads:

i have lost my smile
but do not worry
the dandelion has it

and the idea travels with me.
and i wonder where i might find that dandelion.

i can smile if i try. and there is plenty to smile about. but that natural, continual expression of joy. feels sometimes hidden. by unexplained anxiety. uncertainty. inadequacy. invisiblity. and the days are mostly dark. from start to finish. except for an intermission of light in between ambiguous sunrises and sunsets over the sea. and the coldness sets in. and the winter grows deeper.
but then we found a place. of snowy hills. resting in the sunshine. and we climbed amidst them, careful to stay parallel to the impermanent light. and there, burried underneath the snow, we found a dandelion stem. her seeds had scattered, floating free. in the vibrant sky. in the glowing sunshine. in the distant mountains. in the changing sea. on the frozen tundra. on the icy willows.

and we realized the dandelion was all around. so we couldn't help but smile.

and there must be other dandelions to discover. so we will journey and we will search with open eyes.






*from peace is every step by thich nhat hanh

traveling with blueberries

i'm sorry if the blueberries are a little mashed up
we've traveled a long way

these blueberries and i

from a land once abundant with blueberries

where autumn is fading

and winter on its brink

to a place of strangely familiar vastness

but with cacti and heat

where we can climb mountains

and hike valleys

and admire the brilliant sunset at the end of the road

i apologize if the blueberries are rather squished

we've journeyed quite a ways

these blueberries and i

from desert landscapes

to a temperate place

of rolling hills and quaint downtowns

where we can walk on paths

with canopies of changing leaves

where we can throw frisbees in meadows

and sit and talk about the uncertainty of all of this

i'm sorry if the blueberries are stuck together

we've come a great distance

these blueberries and i

through crooked roads and tree covered mountains

to the house where the stars are always bright

and a hundred year old dog waits for a walk

where we can share vegetables and laughter

and appreciate the quiet beauty all around

i apologize if the blueberries are smashed

we've made it very far

these blueberries and i

to rest in the kitchen

of afterschool treats and studies

to sit with you for a moment

and dream of traveling the world

one place at a time

do forgive me if the blueberries are a mess

many miles we have traveled

these blueberries and i

down four lane highways

to busy cities and fruitful farmland

to remember what was

to catch up on what is

to wonder what will be

as we dance to tunes

warmly familiar

underneath stars and amidst the sunshine

and the last of the blueberries

preserved in a jar

i've brought them just for you

from all this way

to the sea on the other side

where we can put our feet in the water

and watch the sun's rising and setting

decorate the sky

as we celebrate family

both old and new

so i hope you'll find a way

to create something delicious

muffins or pancakes or cobbler

and to taste a glimpse of summer

and to remember you are loved

from where the wild blueberries grow