one year.

one year ago. everything was mysteriously white. a world hidden. underneath depths of ice. revealing only the surface. to innocent eyes. inspiring awe. stirring wonder. an unfathomable unknowing. all amidst profound darkness.

and in time. ever so gradually. cold transformed to warmth. and darkness evolved into light. and vanishing ice. revealed a world underneath. of tundra and berries. of beaches and sea glass. a rainbow of colour. bursting forth.

and in time. darkness crept in. and cold returned. blanketing the earth once again with white mystery. but somehow in a year. after being amidst a full cycle. there is a bit more understanding. of the beauty beneath the surface. and there will always be unfathomable unknowing. and there will always be more to learn. but there is comfort in being present. long enough to see. hidden depths. long enough to visualize. what hope looks like.

one year ago. i discovered alaska.

rain.

wandering city streets in the rain. eyes open for hidden treasures. whole in the wall coffee shops. used book stores with cats. overwhelming record stores. eccentric art displays. without much of a plan. besides a hope of discovering beauty. in whatever varied forms she decided to reveal herself. and there was a certain beauty in the women at the day shelter. in stories and friendships. in laughter and singing. in confidence and hope. and that beauty remains with me. even more than the dazzling city lights.

and i wouldn't say i fell in love with seattle. perhaps i can blame it on the cold january rain. but i can say i hope to return. for there is always more to discover. more to learn. and i'm thankful for a dear friend. who lives there. honouring people. promoting dignity. with compassion. and humility. who is a part of beautiful things. things too beautiful for words, really.

carolina.

nearly every morning. the sun would wake me up. eight o clock or so. and i'd walk over to my window. to greet her. to thank her for the light. the abundant light. and for the day.

and some days were filled with journeys. alongside one of my favourite traveling companions. as we made our way. in search of family. of friends. of places. that i hadn't seen in a year. or more. and we talked about things that were certain. and things that were uncertain. or we didn't talk at all. and simply listened. to the music that followed us. and we agreed that the journeys were worth the miles.

and some days were quieter. traveling on foot. admiring the trees. the fallen leaves. the patches of snow. the frozen lake. and reading. and being. and taking time. and abandoning hurry. days wondering what will be. days in between worlds. trying to make sense of it all. trying to listen.

and i loved when we could sit around the table. for hours. sharing delicious food. and laughter. and memories. as the birds sang. reminding us of time passing. and i didn't have to answer questions. or have a plan. but could just be with people i love. and feel loved.

and questions remain. without answers. as they always will. but somehow what will be will unravel as the journey continues. as i wander. with hope. with open eyes. my soul stumbling upon whatever it was searching for all along.